Welded
by hideunspoken
Summary: Ian's point of view in chapter 56 of Stephenie Meyer's The Host.


**A/N: Thanks for checking out my first fanfic. Please review, anything is appreciated. Praise, criticism, or flames, I just want to know how I did. Enjoy!**

I approached silently behind Wanda as she spoke to Sunny and Kyle.

"It's not fair!" Sunny cried, "Why do you get to stay? Why can't I stay if you can?" I felt pity for this soul. All she wanted was her love. Kyle, of all people.

I heard a slight hesitation in Wanda's voice as she replied, "That wouldn't be fair, would it? But I don't get to stay, Sunny. I have to go too. And soon. Maybe we'll leave together. I have to go, Sunny, just like you. I have to give my body back too."

It took a second while I registered what Wanda was saying. She had to go? Soon? Then it all clicked and I understood.

"What?" My voice echoed through the cave walls. I stared down at the three of them enraged.

Kyle and I shared a brief glance at each other when he said, confused, "Ian? What's the problem?" I ignored his question and stuck my hand out.

"Wanda?" I asked through clenched teeth waiting for her to grab my hand. When this was unsuccessful, I lurched forward, grabbing Wanda's arm. Wanting to speak to her alone, I shook Sunny off of her arm roughly.

"What is with you?" Kyle asked, still bewildered. I wondered how my idiot brother didn't understand, and with full force, I kicked him straight in the face.

"Ian!" Wanda shouted. Sunny stepped in front of Kyle. She reminded me so much of Wanda. Sunny protected him, even as he was about to send her away. Kyle struggled to rise to his feet.

"C'mon!" I growled, hauling Wanda with me as I began to exit the room.

"Ian--," she began, until I dragged her along more roughly. As we reached the exit, I noticed Jared in our way.

"Have you lost your mind, Ian? What are you doing to her?" Jared asked.

"Did you know about this?" I yelled back, showing him Wanda in a rough manner.

"You're going to hurt her!" he shouted, but I knew what he really meant was you're going to hurt Melanie's body.

"Do you know what she's planning?" I screamed, diverting his comments. When Jared didn't respond, my fist swept across the air, landing on Jared's face. I didn't wait to see his reaction, because I couldn't care less. I just lurched Wanda and I into the hall.

"Ian, stop," Wanda said, feeling pity for Jared, the man who would willingly, even gladly, watch her leave the caves and go to a new planet, far away from him…and me.

"You stop," I growled, lengthening my stride.

"O'Shea!" Jared shouted from behind us.

I didn't stop to look at him when I replied, "_I'm_ going to hurt her? _I_ am? _You hypocritical swine!_" It wasn't until Wanda let out a small gasp of pain when I realized that I was gripping her arm too tight and hurting her. I stopped instantly and wished I could see her face in the darkness of the caves.

"Ian, Ian, I…" Wanda stuttered at a loss for words. I finally decided to pick her up and continue running. She was so light that I barely noticed a change. Instead of dragging her roughly along with me, I cradled my precious Wanda in my arms, never wanting her to escape. I ran, passing the blurs beside me, not even able to differentiate between a face and a shovel. Nothing else mattered. I didn't stop until we were at my room and kicked the door out of the way and dropped Wanda onto my mattress. I stared at her for a moment, not able to make out what it was I wanted to say to her. I placed the door back in place for privacy and turned to her as she got onto her knees. I stared into her eyes, and I could see the pain, but my rage remained intact.

"You. Are. Not. Leaving. Me." I said, making each word it's own distinct sentence.

"Ian, you must have to see that…that I can't stay. You _must_ see that," she whispered.

"No!" I yelled back at her. She didn't understand that she _must_ stay. Wanda cringed from my ferocity and I fell into her lap as sobs broke from my chest.

"No, Ian, no. Don't please. Please don't," Wanda begged.

"Wanda," I said her name, never wanting to let her go.

"Ian, please. Don't feel this way. Don't. I'm so sorry," she said, shaking. I didn't understand how I could _not_ feel this way about her. She was so true and pure and kind. I didn't care that we weren't of the same species. Nothing else mattered to me but her.

"You can't leave," I cried out to her.

"I have to, I have to," she cried with me. I got a hold of my emotions before her, so I laid quietly beside her, waiting for her sobbing to end so we could speak.

"Sorry. I was mean," I whispered to her.

"No, no. I'm sorry. I should have told you when you didn't guess. I just…I couldn't. I didn't want to tell you—to hurt you—to hurt me. It was selfish," Wanda spoke, her voice still quiet.

"We need to talk about this, Wanda. It's not a done deal. It can't be," I said, mostly reassuring myself about the last part.

"It is," Wanda whispered her voice cracking. I shook my head violently because I could never let her leave me.

"How long? How long have you been planning this?" I asked, expectant of her answer.

"Since the seeker." I nodded, trying to hide my expression.

"And you thought that you had to give up your secret to save her. I can understand that. But that doesn't mean you have to go anywhere. Just because Doc knows now…that doesn't _mean_ anything. If I'd thought for one minute that it did, that one action equaled the other, I wouldn't have stood there and let you show him. No one is going to force you to lie down on his blasted gurney! I'll break his hands if he tries to touch you!" I raised my voice toward the end of my short speech to get my point across.

"Ian, please," she begged.

"They can't make you Wanda! Do you hear me?"

"No one is making me. I didn't show Doc how to do the separation so I could save the seeker. The seeker's being here just made me have to decide…faster. I did it to save Mel, Ian," she admitted to me, still whispering. I could feel my nostrils flare. I should have guessed this. It was obvious now, looking back.

Wanda spoke up before I could reply. "She trapped in here, Ian. It's like a prison—worse than that; I can't even describe it. She's like a ghost. And I can free her. I can give her herself back."

"You deserve a life too, Wanda. You deserve to stay." I was hoping for a miracle, searching for an answer that would make her stay with me.

"But I _love_ her, Ian." I closed my eyes when I knew I couldn't convince her. I could feel the blood drain from my face.

"But I love _you_. Doesn't that matter?" I asked with a dead voice.

"Of course it matters. So much. Can't you see? That only makes it more…necessary." This hurt more than anything. My love for her was the cause of this deed.

"Is it so unbearable to have me love you? Is that it? I can keep my mouth shut, Wanda. I won't say it again. You can be with Jared, if that's what you want. Just stay." At this point I would do anything, even if that meant not being with Wanda, just to have her stay. As I thought this through, I saw pity and shock flash across her face.

"No, Ian!" She took my face in her hands, her eyes blazing into mine. "No I—I love you, too. Me, the little silver worm in the back of her head. But my body doesn't love you. It can't love you. I can never love you in this body, Ian. It pulls me in two. It's unbearable." I closed my eyes when they teared up, now with a bit more understanding, but still the outcome remained the same. The pain did not reduce, even slightly. Nothing changed.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me closer until her lips touched mine. I pulled her tighter against my chest, and I could find no trace of Melanie. It was just Wanda and I. We embraced for a long time until Wanda began to cry again, as if it was our last kiss, but I was determined. I pulled my lips up to her eyes to kiss away her tears.

"Don't cry, Wanda. Don't cry. You're staying with me," I whispered.

"Eight full lives," Wanda whispered, her voice cracking, "Eight full lives and I never found anyone I would stay on a planet for, anyone I would follow when they left. I never found a partner. Why now? Why you? You're not one of my species. How can you be my partner?"

"It's a strange universe," I replied.

"It's not fair," she complained and I understood these words more than she did. It was very unfair.

"I love you," she whispered, implying too much in those three little words.

"Don't say that like you're saying good-bye," I told her, but she didn't listen.

"I, the soul called Wanderer, love you, human Ian. And that will never change, no matter what I might become. If I were a Dolphin or a Bear or a Flower, it wouldn't matter. I would always love you, always remember you. You will be my only partner."

I could sense she could be keeping something from me, but I let it pass. It wasn't important now. I held Wanda tighter to my chest, not allowing her out of my sight.

"You're not wandering off anymore. You're staying here," I said firmly.

"Ian—," she began, but I cut her off.

"This isn't just for me. You're a part of this community, and you aren't getting kicked out without discussion. You are far too important to us all—even to the ones who would never admit it. We need you." I said simply, as if it were not a life or death decision.

"No one's kicking me out, Ian."

"No, not even yourself, Wanderer." I kissed her again to take both of our minds off of the situation and the kiss turned fierce.

"Good or Bad?" I asked, when I finally pulled away from her.

"Good," Wanda replied, and I knew my attempts were successful.

"That's what I thought," I kissed her again until she was gasping for air when I slid my lips along her cheek to her ear.

"Let's go."

"Where? Where are we going?"

I pulled us both to our feet and replied, "Don't give me any trouble about this, Wanderer. I'm half out of my mind."

"Where?" she continued, waiting for an answer.

"You're going down the eastern tunnel, past the field, to the end."

"The game room?" she asked, making the connection.

"Yes. And then you are going to wait there until I get the rest of them."

"Why?" she wondered and I could hear the strange possibilities running through her head.

"Because this _will _be discussed. I'm calling a tribunal, Wanderer, and you are going to abide by our decision." I said firmly, because I wasn't going to give her a choice. I was almost sure the odds would be in my favor once I explained this to Jeb, especially. I wasn't going to let Wanda go, no matter what.


End file.
